should I stay or should I go

Ahoy,

I think a question I will always wrestle with in my life is where I call my home. I had this history teacher in high school that had grown up in the neighborhood. He was born, raised, attended college, and got a job all within commuting distance of his childhood home. At the time, I thought this was amazing- that he could go his whole life without leaving home. Though I can't say I know how much traveling he did, I'm sure he knew of amazing things outside of his walls because he was a history teacher filled to the brim of stories of foreign lands.

It wasn't until later that I thought this might also be a bit sad. I'm not knocking on anyone's choices here, I'm just speculating that that is not something I want as an accomplishment in my life. Although at my high school, it was pretty easy to go on to college even closer to home than high school was because one of the best universities in the city was nearby. I can see how you may find yourself never needing to stray far from home for all the opportunities an American education has to offer.

Whenever I go home to Chicago, I can't help but wonder how my life would be different had I stayed. At points I'm a little envious of those who have earned the luxury of watching my neighborhood and city grow and change. To be able to explore Chicago as an adult and take in all the things I couldn't do as a child is not something I realized I didn't have until later in life. In many ways I am more familiar with the food and entertainment of the East Bay and NYC than that of Chicago. My formative adult years weren't spent in Chicago, but elsewhere.

The other half the time I'm glad to be a transient visitor in my hometown. Going to school away from home is a luxury not everyone embarks upon. It gave me an opportunity to see and do so much. I've always believed that the world is much too big a place to stay still for too long. I realize how fortunate I am that my family let me go. Although it will always be my intention to call Chicago home once and for all, I realize that may not be the case for a while. I chose the road less traveled, and that has made all the difference.

dazzlingly spared,
jt