Tuesday, February 27, 2018

in Amsterdam

Ahoy,

I was not entirely surprised, but maybe a little. He seemed pensive, with something on his mind. He proposed in Amsterdam on a canal bridge. In retrospect, we went wandering around a residential part of town looking for a bridge that checked off everything on his list of requirements.

We walked into a store for me to buy a duck umbrella. He sat down with all the other men. Every smart store knows to provide seating for the disgruntled and ever patient men in your life. I thought this meant he was tired and we would probably head back to our accommodations after this stop. I really thought this was it for the night. So when I came back to get him, I was totally surprised when he said he wanted to continue to a different part of town to see the bridges there. The end of the energy and excitement of nightlife in Amsterdam was instantaneous. It was very residential without a lot going on. I did not regard this leg of the tour very highly. Once you've seen one bridge, you've seen them all. I had been preparing mentally to call it a night and my patience was waning as he continued coaxing me across more bridges. At some point he told me there was a good view on a bridge somewhere in the distance, to which I responded skeptically that neither of us had been here before so he could not know what the view was like. My steps quickened. We walked across a good one too quickly, he later told me, so he decided in his mind it had to be the next one. As he stopped on the next bridge, I continued on and was down the block before he noticed I was well on my way back to our hotel. It wasn't happening tonight. It seemed like we were just wandering around without a clear destination or goal - maybe the goal was to walk across every bridge in Amsterdam.

Later I would learn, he had stopped on that bridge to think about what he would say to propose to me. He realized he had not thought about what to say in his scramble to find a bridge. His newfound energy after sitting in that store came from a determination to find THE bridge to propose on because this was our last night. He had thought he would ask on this trip, but the days were winding down, and he figured the canal bridges would be romantic. The qualifiers: not so windy that vespas were blowing over, not so much rain that umbrellas were being wrangled, no delivery trucks on the bridge, not a million tourists around, nice view... The perfect bridge was harder to come by than anticipated, he said. 

The next morning, we had some time to wander around before our train to the airport. We went to another different part of the canal bridges, and he seemed determined again to walk across every bridge in Amsterdam. This game again, "Can we go across that one? Uhh, and that one? And this one over here? Okay, now this one?...." He knew to hold me in place so I wouldn't get away this time. In two sentences, he asked on one knee- short and sweet. I said 'duh' in my head. What came out of my mouth 'uhh ya.' We walked away, it was misting slightly. And then we realized we should get a picture so we can remember which bridge it was. Or else we will have to walk across every bridge next time to try to find it again. 

He said he was nervous. And then he told me he had first thought about asking a full year ago in Eureka on this ocean side hike. "I thought that was a great place to ask, but I didn't have a ring." he confessed. And then he thought maybe on one of our camping trips, but we went with all our friends because I have a tendency to invite everyone and their mom, but also - still no ring. What an interesting limiting factor in this game of life. There is this whole ordeal to contend with after someone's decided they're ready to ask. No one is going to pre-emptively get a ring before they are ready to ask. And sometimes it takes months to go ring shopping, design it, change it, etc. There is just a period where someone wants to ask and then having to wait and shop until they can finally ask. Seems like an antiquated formality. Or maybe I'm just impatient, as you can clearly tell from this story.

best,
jt